One Tree

You and I share a space. A marginalised view of personal truth - isolating, frightening, lonely.

I looked to you and felt a bond of sorrow, hidden self-pity, self-loathing. We seemed to care but knew it was irrelevant, for our expression of divisive care fell in silence in favour of popular simplicity.

Years spent investing, driving our routes deeper, grounding our indifference and rising towards a fading light we sadly assumed would allow us to grow, be seen, heard, and understood. Re-enforcing the misconceived belief that our actions and habits granted us the success that would serve us in all future phases of life.

I believed we were united in a lonely existence, leading to an inevitable end, but I was mistaken. Unlike me, you stood proudly, unaware that you were alone. You were oblivious to the concept I had created.

Your very essence was connected to a greater system. A system that gave you life nurtured and supported you as you grew together—every element playing a small part for the greater wellbeing of all. 

No stars. No leaders. No followers. No likes.

 You were not alone and you never were; this was simply a distorted projection from a hurt soul looking for refuge.

The light of your truth allowed me to confront the dark feelings that I believed were essential to who I am, what I stood for, and where I headed. In your shadow, I unpacked the deeply ingrained fear that kept me on a revolving wheel of destruction, masked as a good time had by all, reflecting a false reality I knew too well.

It seems incredibly naive but I had looked at both of us, somehow convincing myself that we had learned all we needed. Blind to the fact that, unlike me, you never stopped evolving, growing, and adapting. A revelation that scared me to the core.

 Barely existing in the fragile world I had fabricated, I had no choice; I had to admit that the path I had pursued no longer served the outcome I desired. My truth was I had embraced the loneliness and enabled it as an excuse for habits that were slowly destroying everything.

I had to face the fact that if I didn’t choose change, the change would choose me.

I chose to change because we are the same. We are both parts of something bigger. We are not alone; we just needed to lower the defences and let in those who love.

Do I still feel lonely?

Sometimes, but that powerful feeling of emptiness now fills me with comfort.