At this very moment, we are parted by our choosing. What is right for you in this very instant is not what I need and the same is true for me.

In many ways, we share a trust that allows us to remain connected yet experience the freedom needed to chase our unique dreams. Grow in different directions knowing that we are indeed connected by the distance we both feel.

Will you return to me? Will you stand by my side, help me in my times of need, support me as I face the reality of my making? Will you be patient when I stumble, when I fall, when I rise to try again?

I have to admit, there are times in life when I feel like an abject failure; like I have little to offer and less to contribute. These times of self-doubt may be fleeting, yet they hurt, leaving unseen scars that can affect the future.

Let's begin by saying this was not one of my finest moments. However, it is a moment I can not deny.

It all began as the perfect ending. After a week of hiking and photographing in Sedona, I was ready for my last hike, my last sunset.

I’m sorry if this is too little too late.

I am sorry if I have taken you for granted. 

Not saying what was needed.Not done what was necessary.

I am sorry if my self-delusion caused you harm, caused you pain, caused you heartbreak.

The world seems ever smaller, ever more so-called connected, ever alive with the deafening and constant stream of advice. You know the kind of advice I am talking about, we experience it every day.

Some lead.

Others follow.

Then there are those who simply don’t care. 

Step after step, I walk towards you, knowing I will never reach you; as the sad yet hopeful reality remains, you are a pure and straightforward mirage of all that can be.

If you're offered the chance to escape to the life you have always dreamt about, talked about, would you take it? Or would you find a reason to stay exactly where you are?

Would you choose the safety of a known discomfort; or chance the risk of failing as you attempt to live the life you have always desired.

The person sitting to your right,

the person sitting to your left may not be your best friend, may not be your lover, soul mate, your life partner.

But they are there, sitting beside you.

The reflection of what we perceive can sometimes hide the true meaning of the moment we are living.

For many, the gutter is the physical embodiment of failure, not having what it takes to make it in this fast-paced, success-focused world.

But the gutter, for me, is a very different experience.

Rushing to wake, rushing to work.

Rushing to start, rushing to end.

Rushing to text, rushing to respond.

Rushing to lunch, rushing to finish.

The feeling of loss never leaves. It’s as constant as my heartbeat, as present as my breath. The loss of you is ever-present, creating an awareness, helping me to see a clear path forward.

It all begins with an idea.