Dissolve Into Nothing

The thought started like many others, just an annoying niggle in my neck on a long ride. As the miles amassed, so did the pain. Nothing too unusual, just a man of many years living with the concept of the older you get, the better you were.

Halfway through the journey, the pain became stressful; the stress became frustrating, which was now negatively affecting a challenge I have grown to love.

I stopped; my pulse pounding, my lungs heaving, and I felt an undesired tension cycling through my soul, lighting up every pain receptor. I needed to find a way to control what I was feeling. My breathing began to calm, allowing clarity to return, which brought an old but widely misunderstood idea.

What if the answer to the problem, to perhaps all my questions, was to simply let go, was to detach from the seeming control I believed I needed to achieve. In essence, what if I could dissolve into nothing, to become the very thing I was attempting to achieve.

Could I jettison my ego, surrender to the unknown, admit my irrelevance and transform my energy, my form, my very being to become a single-focused point of excellence, pursuing a single-minded goal? To be the best I can be at any given moment, in any given situation.

I left my ‘I can do this; I am good at this’ ego by the roadside and began to dissolve. I became the bike; I became the tires; I became the road, traveling ever faster, leaving the now-forgotten pain that stopped me in my wake. 

I am in no way the world's best rider, but this approach of dissolving into what I wanted to achieve was bringing me joy, allowing me to work in the only moment I can control, the now. 

As the hot water from a soothing shower fell upon my shoulders, the thought of what I had just experienced blessed me with a calm knowing of what could be. 

Suppose I can forsake my need to be seen and heard, if I can at will, be free from my ego. Suppose I can surrender to what I am trying to achieve by allowing my mind, body, and spirit to dissolve free of the constraints of the everyday reality. 

Then the question is, what am I truly capable of?

What are you truly capable of?  

What are we capable of together?