Past Its Prime

Have you ever experienced the uncomfortable feeling that life is passing you by, swapping its love for you in favour of a newer, younger, shinier distraction?

I have, and in many ways still do. It is not fun being discarded like an item that's gone out of trend, passed its used by date or become undesirable.

It worried me, angered me, basically drove me slowly insane. 

I felt like a lost lover who was no longer needed or wanted, but I struggled to find the words to say goodbye with dignity. I could not move on and therefore could not see the new and exciting opportunities that lay ahead.

I have many friends, all around the same vintage, working in the same industry and all were having similar experiences. We talk about it for what seemed like days, never coming to any conclusion that made the feeling of being unwanted any more palatable.

Then while working with a friend on something far more important to him than me, the subject came up. He had a lovely perspective on this situation that was causing me more than a few sleepless nights.

He asked, "if I liked what I did"? My truthful response was that I liked creating but had long lost my desire to create T.V commercials, dressed up to look like films. Selling products no one needed nor cared about. 

When I heard myself speak these words, it hurt, as I knew that my true desires lay elsewhere, but my fears and need for an industry celebration of my talent kept me firmly fixed to a place of unfulfilled sadness. I had become a hostage to my fears.

He took a moment and said, "Jon, I think the job you use to love has left you, to make space for what comes next, whatever that may be" 

It was a simple moment of clarity that was hard to ignore. In an instant, all of the negative feelings I was experiencing dissipated and from that day, I began to get use to the feeling of the position I found myself in, slowly becoming open to what comes next. 

Now, whether you believe that things leave you to make way for a new direction is totally up to you. But for me, this tiny piece of wisdom felt like the key that unlocked a door. A door that I have been trying to kick down for such a long time when all it needed was a gentle push.