From Dark To Light

I find it alluringly compelling how my mind can turn from dark, I mean pure black, to light in what seems like the blink of an eye.

It feels like a feat to behold, yet also feels somewhat worrying. The truth is that sometimes I feel like I go looking for the dark. I have no idea what I am searching for, but I go there.

The pain of the dark spaces, void of detail, feels strangely comforting. Its fear-laced existence drives me to work harder, strive for more and never give up, even when that is precisely what needs to happen.

When indulging in the dark, my vision becomes clear; I see my truth about everything. I see everyone's, but sadly it is their worst truth, a reality they keep hidden from all, especially themselves. 

It is a truth of sorts, but a truth seen through the twisted view of a man in pain, a vision tainted by the suffering felt.

It is not a pleasant vision, yet it is a vision that I feel compelled to indulge in in the dark times. 

It may well just be that I like this truth; I find a strange warmth in situations that reveal the painful reality of our world, the faults in the system we all see but choose to ignore. 

Yet this view comes with far more complications than I can currently comprehend, let alone understand and take the first steps in contributing to changing them. Because you see, I am just trying to survive today.